In The Beginning

In the beginning God desired Adam and Eve's trust in and dependence on Him, and He gave them the opportunity to do exactly that by following His command to not eat from the Tree of Knowledge. But the temptation to know was too great.

I understand the struggle they must have faced.

I'm sure there are a lot, if not most, of you reading this that are jealous of my time off. Honestly, I'd be jealous too! When we are in the midst of our working lives, extended time off sounds so idyllic. Don't get me wrong, I am loving so many parts of my sabbethical, and am thankful every single day for this gift that God has blessed me with, but at the same time it's not all cotton candy and unicorns.

Have you ever said to yourself/God, "If I only knew how/when/why __________, then I could get through this."? If you say no, you're lying! We've all thought this before, because just like Adam and Eve we think knowing will make things better or easier.

Back in March when God told me my time at Highpoint was coming to a close, He could have told me that He was going to bless me with some wonderful time off and then at X date He wanted me to pursue Y job. You better believe I would have preferred it to have happened that way! But it didn't. Instead, every day has been a choice between dependence and trust or striving to know. I've learned, rather painfully, over the years that choosing the striving to know option doesn't actually get you the knowledge and peace you want, it just gets you heaps of worry and a lot of stressful dreams (maybe the dreams are just a me thing).

Genesis doesn't give the details of what went through Eve's mind as she was being manipulated and tempted, but I think I have an idea. Every day I have a war waging inside of me, because I desperately want to know what's next, but God is still saying wait, and more than that, He's asked me to trust that He knows and to depend on Him to provide instead of myself knowing so I can provide.

Last week I went through an awesome process called Life Plan to help me better figure out my talents, wiring and what to look for in a future career, and while God blew me away with what He spoke to me through that process, I walked away with all of this knowledge and still heard "Wait." On one hand, I'm thankful because it means more concentrated rest time, on the other hand, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Hahaha!! Seriously, y'all, it's practically mid-September already and as each day goes by it's getting harder and harder to be still as I continue to hear wait! In the beginning God desired A&E's dependence and trust, and that is still His desire for us today. So, while I may not know what jobs I'm supposed to be applying for or understand God's timeline, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I continue to seek His will, that He will show me which path to take and when to take it. 

For that reason, today I choose dependence. What will you choose?