Upside Down Answers
This is not ending how I expected it to.
In March, when I told my boss that I was leaving Highpoint, I knew that what I was doing was exactly what God desired of me. Then in May, when I decided that I was going to take a sabbatical, I knew that what I was doing was exactly what God desired of me. In the midst of that, God promised He would lead me to a new role.
He just never said when.
However, I certainly created a few expectations for that timeline.
Now, here I am, two weeks away from the end of the year and the end of my sabbethical, and no job. Up until this past week I thought I had God's answer, but when that ended up not coming to pass like I thought, I was left to process God's timeline and the dashing of my expectations.
I told God a few years ago that I never wanted to be content in my relationship with Him, that I wanted to continually go deeper, but in this moment as I faced the reality of an extension of this very uncomfortable season, I wanted to take that back! I saw two paths before me, one I could predict and felt safe with, the other was shrouded, contained lots of risk and even more vulnerability. My expectation when I started this was that come January I would know what was next, not that I would be asked to go even deeper into the unknown!! I cried. I felt weak. This wasn't how this was supposed to go! As I came back to my senses, I surrendered once again. If this is God's will, then I submit, knowing it will lead to something greater, at just the right time.
I have more to tell about what God has revealed to me of what He's doing within this extension, but you'll have to wait till my next post to hear about that! What I want to close with is this: thousands of years ago when the Israelites were waiting for their promised Messiah to come, they had expectations of who he was going to be and what his salvation would look, but when Jesus was born and when He revealed that He was the Messiah, it was nothing as they had expected. I may dislike that God is asking me to sit in a season that is so uncomfortable for a while longer, but God has the habit of answering His promises in upside down ways. It was so when Jesus was born in a manger and when His salvation took place on a cross, but it was PERFECT that way! So, why in the world, when my answers look upside down, would I ever doubt they were perfect that way too?!
As we celebrate the upside down coming of our Savior this week, I celebrate the upside down ending to my sabbethical.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
In March, when I told my boss that I was leaving Highpoint, I knew that what I was doing was exactly what God desired of me. Then in May, when I decided that I was going to take a sabbatical, I knew that what I was doing was exactly what God desired of me. In the midst of that, God promised He would lead me to a new role.
He just never said when.
However, I certainly created a few expectations for that timeline.
Now, here I am, two weeks away from the end of the year and the end of my sabbethical, and no job. Up until this past week I thought I had God's answer, but when that ended up not coming to pass like I thought, I was left to process God's timeline and the dashing of my expectations.
I told God a few years ago that I never wanted to be content in my relationship with Him, that I wanted to continually go deeper, but in this moment as I faced the reality of an extension of this very uncomfortable season, I wanted to take that back! I saw two paths before me, one I could predict and felt safe with, the other was shrouded, contained lots of risk and even more vulnerability. My expectation when I started this was that come January I would know what was next, not that I would be asked to go even deeper into the unknown!! I cried. I felt weak. This wasn't how this was supposed to go! As I came back to my senses, I surrendered once again. If this is God's will, then I submit, knowing it will lead to something greater, at just the right time.
I have more to tell about what God has revealed to me of what He's doing within this extension, but you'll have to wait till my next post to hear about that! What I want to close with is this: thousands of years ago when the Israelites were waiting for their promised Messiah to come, they had expectations of who he was going to be and what his salvation would look, but when Jesus was born and when He revealed that He was the Messiah, it was nothing as they had expected. I may dislike that God is asking me to sit in a season that is so uncomfortable for a while longer, but God has the habit of answering His promises in upside down ways. It was so when Jesus was born in a manger and when His salvation took place on a cross, but it was PERFECT that way! So, why in the world, when my answers look upside down, would I ever doubt they were perfect that way too?!
As we celebrate the upside down coming of our Savior this week, I celebrate the upside down ending to my sabbethical.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Comments
Romans 8:25-28 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.